My first thought was MOUSE!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!, because I'm terrified and paranoid ever since I lived in that horrendous walk-up in Hoboken two years ago. Then rationality kicked in and I thought, oh, it must be my missing mitten, but that doesn't actually make sense. Half a second later, I realized it was the embarrassingly pink thong I was wearing earlier. I changed my underwear after the shower obviously and come to think of it, I never put them in the hamper. That's because it's still in my pants.
The plus side is that I'm wearing Uggs. I awkwardly stopped on the sidewalk and pretended to be waiting for someone at first, then I talked to my mom a little more intensely about scanning photos, as if I needed to stop walking in order to have the conversation. As I did that, I leaned down to fix my "sock" and pushed the stowaway skivvies into my left Ugg. Then I proceeded toward my coffee shop destination. No sense going all the way home because of a golf ball sized pair of drawers. So now I'm in Panera and they're just chillin' in my Ugg boot. Is that TMI? A little too personal for the web? I don't care, I think it's funny, plus I have to procrastinate for a minimum of 20 minutes before beginning work. No one actually saw the offending object, but I just look guilty. Another problem: the little rhinestones, dotting the i's in "Birthday Girl" are scratching my ankle. Also, it's not my birthday.