June 16, 2009

Showering is Going To Kill You...

I'm about to go where I have never gone before.

Reasons I'm going to use self tanner for the first time:
1. There is no f-ing sunshine and it's already mid-June
2. I'm scared of getting wrinkles
3. And cancer
4. I refuse to EVER fake bake. I will NEVER ever do it.
5. It's slimming to have a tan?

So I got Clarins Self Tanning Instant Gel because it was recommended, and even though it's expensive, I would prefer to be tan, not orange. I'm thinking bronze, not glow in the dark. So then I was reading reviews, and they're all good, but I came across this website:


Seriously, type in any products you use. Between my shampoo, eye shadow, lotion, toothpaste, lip gloss, deodorant, and nail polish, I will obviously have problems associated with cancer, neurotoxicity, biochemical or cellular changes (morphing), organ system toxicity, occupational hazards (desk throwing), endocrine disruption, developmental/reproductive toxicity, allergies, irritation, and mutations. Yes!

In the end, there are no safety restrictions for most beauty products apparently. They're telling us to be on the look out for products which contain: placenta (yes, placenta), lead, mercury, fragrance (go for fragrance-free natch), animal parts, hydroquinone skin lightener (huh?), nanoparticles (like nano-pets), phthalates (found in some, okay MOST brands of nail polish and which cause sperm damage and infertility. I'm very upset that essie and OPI are included), and petroleum byproducts (hello and goodbye Vaseline?!).

So yeah, I'm gonna move to a deserted island now and pray to merge into an alternate universe without chemicals. To be honest, I'm not going to stop using any of this stuff. Well maybe, I'll look for organic products with natural ingredients. I'm not sure if I like the scare tactics employed by this site. Shouldn't they have a section for the good products? The FDA sucks, so tell us what to use! Then I did a Google search and learned that there really isn't much out there, especially in terms of safe, natural glittery pretty makeup. This MIGHT be my ticket to self-employment and enjoyable work. If I invent makeup that is safe and amazing and colorful and fun, and then also make a website that doesn't suck to sell it on, I may or may not be working from home in the near future. Motivation!!!!!?

Ho hum.


  1. I feel like I am about to take my life in my hands by going to shower right now.
    MK has a good self tanner. Not smelly but takes a few days. I like this Nivea sun kissed legs one too. Looks good on legs, but still trying to master a technique that makes my feet look like they were on the same vacation as my legs. I can't use Jergens- the smell is atrocious. Seems to be worse on me than anyone else I know. Weird. Must be the way my cells mutate and morph.
    If only we mutated and morphed into something cool as a result of chemical exposure....

  2. I thought I commented on this but I guess I didn't haha um anyways I was gonna say... Looks like were all gonna get diseases and die.

  3. Ew. This freaks me out. Oh, but, alas, such is the world...

  4. @ Megan So far I'm liking the Clarins, but it's expensive so when this is gone I may try the MK!

    @ sarah Don't take life too seriously. You won't make it out alive anyway. HA

    @ Moi are you Susan? Such IS the world. It's wild.

  5. No that's not me...I'll tell you who it is...she prob wants to remain anonymous to random people who may or may not read your bloggity blog. All I have to comment on is...desk throwing???