February 12, 2009

1x5 Prods to the Brain

1. Sometimes random things like movies or songs can trigger repressed memories. I have quite a lot of them I think. It's like a lost cavern in my mind and it's freaking me out. I need to write it out. Not blog, but actually write.

2. If they could, my family would arrange my marriage. Arranged rhymes with deranged, just like Cupid rhymes with stupid. They think I need a guy with a "good Christian upbringing," who came from a normal childhood with a typical family life, since mine wasn't normal. I'll be taken aback if I can even manage a relationship for longer than four months at all. Maybe an arranged marriage wouldn't be so bad, but I would never give them that satisfaction. I'll be fine, I'm sure of it.

3. I went to an NYU info session today, only to realize that I have absolutely no idea what I am doing with my life. I don't have goals or dreams really anymore and I sure as hell don't feel like taking Statistics and Analytics II. That sounds like slow roasted Tuesday night torture. What am I going to be when I grow up again? First it was a movie director, then a writer, then I was going to dig for Egyptian artifacts. I was going to be a doctor or a lawyer or a Governor and then I was going to be a painter or a decorator or an editor and a news anchor. I was going to start my own business and travel the world, and is it settling if I just stay where it's convenient?

4. I miss home, but even worse, I don't think I've been home since I was 6 years old. I specifically remember the day home ended. It was the earliest and most intense emotion I can remember. It also made me who I am, which is both good and bad like everything and everyone else.

5. This is entirely too deep and somber for a Thursday night at 11:42pm. I need to end this post before it's Friday the 13th..........

Here's a book I want to read: The Luck Factor
I'm pretty proud of my luck! 


  1. --randomly came across your blog surfing

    Lol. Arranged marriage eh? :-P lol. well, sometimes I think my dad would really like to do that just so he would like the guy! Alas, I don't think he would ever like a guy that I like. But who's keeping track?

    N I know how ya feel not havin any goals in life and going nowhere, just wrote bout that the other day... but then, the Love Guru says that NoWhere is NowHere Now here...so who knows! Maybe I'm now here where I'm supposed to be! Guess someday maybe I'll know.

    Lol. I guess...you likely don't really care to know bout my life! oops! I do tend to just talk alot to people no matter where I am always striking up conversations all over the place....
    I'm just a random person out there. I appreciate people who can write how things are, unaffectedly, and so I sometimes will read your blog.

    Peace out dude. And take care on this Friday the 13! We have another next month too I think! Later yo!

  2. you are meant to be exactly where you are. that is my words of wisdom for the day. i love youuuu! see you in 6 days :]