January 20, 2009

Because I Can...

I know we know... that NYC is expensive. I pay $1,295 a month by myself. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. I am seriously, very very seriously considering a move when my lease is over. The problem always was that I didn't want to move across the country alone. Now I can go with my sister. I can buy a house in Portland, OR for less than the cost of my rent. I hear it's artsy out there. It's laid back and I might be a West Coast girl born on the wrong side. Maybe I'll move to a Santa... Santa Monica, Santa Cruz, Santa Barbara.... I know there is something else I'm meant to be doing with my life.

I don't want to be a New Yorker. I don't want to move to the suburbs and hire a nanny and make tons of money for working overtime. I need to do something bigger... or different. Something that no one else does. To add to the corniness and throw in another cliche: The dream in your heart may be bigger than the environment in which you find yourself. I think that's true.

I don't know what I'll do when I get out there, but it will be creative. Maybe I'll go to school or teach or change my career. Maybe I'll get into politics or start a business or write. It doesn't matter. If you want something, you make it work. The best part is that no one in Portland or CA has ever lied to me. I don't have any bad memory associations with the West Coast. I've never been disappointed out there. I actually feel better just thinking about leaving here. I should've gone out there when I graduated like I wanted to. I don't know what I'm waiting for here. I'm over being practical and wasting my time. I'm sick of feeling like everything is temporary. So I won't have a ton of people I know out there, but at least it's an adventure. At least it's unpredictable and new and at least I'll try.

If I hate it, I'll just come back, but I have a sneaky feeling I won't be returning.....


  1. TG I think you're finally beginning to get it! There is something about Portland that literally feels like it's pulling me there, heart, head, and soul. I need to go. It's like in the Celestine Prophecy where there is an almost imperceivable lightness in the right direction. That's what I'm feeling. Follow your path and the rest will be revealed to you.
    Or in Who Moved My Cheese: Mom is the cheese, she was getting moldy so she moved. There is new, better cheese out there for us, and the sooner we get over the loss of the old cheese, the sooner we can start looking for the new cheese! Get it ja?

  2. HAHA OMG i was totally just gonna say to move with the cheese lol but susan got there first... BOO! my cheese is moving faster than i can tho :[